But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
