i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
