you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
