just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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