We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
