he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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