you have to choose: penises or morals?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
