I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
