So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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