She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
