so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
