I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
