The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
