U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You may now shotgun with the bride
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
