i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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