Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
