So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
