Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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