yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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