these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
