for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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