You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
