I think my fart just growled at me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
