If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
