So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
