Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
