My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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