that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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