so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
