I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
