Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
