Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
