Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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