your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
