Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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