I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I love you.
Bad choice
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
