Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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