I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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