ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just had sex on a roof
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drake has all the answers
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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