this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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