dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
