that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
