I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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