so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
