Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
