I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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