I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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