what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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