dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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