He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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